When menopause started creeping into my life, I thought it would be a few years of hot flashes and mood swings and then done. What I have learned since I’ve started is that it’s a full mind and body journey that touches sleep, moods, joints, body organs and confidence in ways I never expected. I only wish someone had warned me ahead of time and given me a road map on how to navigate this new path I’ve suddenly realized I’m finally on.
1. It Doesn’t Happen Overnight
Menopause is not a single day circled on the calendar. Perimenopause can start years earlier, with irregular cycles and subtle changes. It’s more of a slow transition than a sudden shift.
2. Hot Flashes Aren’t Just at Night
We’ve all heard about night sweats, but did anyone ever mention the instantaneous head to toe water leak from every pour on your body??? What about the midday “internal bonfire.” Hot flashes can strike in the car, at work, or while shopping ~ usually at the worst possible time. There are times I can think about getting hot and suddenly I’m on FIRE weather be damned it can be 0-100 degrees; my internal thermometer is BROKEN!
3. Sleep Becomes a Battle
Falling asleep might be easy, but staying asleep? That’s the challenge. Between night sweats and 3 a.m. suddenly wide-awake changing linen, the back and forth of hot and cold moments afterwards, restful nights become a distant memory.
In the past, it was often older women who rose in the quiet hours before dawn to stoke the fires and prepare the home for the day. This role may not have been assigned by choice so much as shaped by biology, since many women in midlife experienced the same sleep disruptions we know today hot flashes, night sweats, or simply waking and being unable to fall back asleep. Rather than lying restless, they used the time to be productive, sitting by the fire or gathering around the table with teas before returning to bed for what was called the “second sleep.” What might have been viewed as a household duty may, in truth, have been an early way of managing the sleep challenges brought on by menopause.
4. Mood Swings Are Real
If you’ve ever felt calm one moment and irritated the next during menopause, you’re not imagining it. Mood swings are a very real part of this transition, and they’re tied to the powerful hormonal shifts happening in your body. Hormone changes can make emotions unpredictable. There are days, patience feels impossible. Understanding that it’s part of the process (not a personal failing) makes it easier to cope.
5. Brain Fog Is a Thing
Keys go missing, names slip your mind, forgetting words mid-sentence, misplacing things more often, or struggling to stay focused on tasks that used to be easy. It’s frustrating, and sometimes even scary, but it’s also incredibly common. It feels like “pregnancy brain” making a comeback. Brain fog during menopause can feel discouraging, but it’s a normal response to hormonal and lifestyle changes. With patience, self-care, and practical strategies, you can clear the haze and regain confidence in your daily life.
6. Weight Shifts Without Warning
One of the most common (and frustrating) changes during menopause is unexpected weight gain. That spare tire around the mid-section. Many women notice their body shape shifting, especially around the belly, even when their eating and exercise habits haven’t changed. It’s not about willpower or laziness, it’s all about biology.
7. Joint Pain Creeps In
One of the lesser-talked-about symptoms of menopause is joint pain. Many women are surprised when stiffness or aches suddenly show up in knees, hips, shoulders, or hands during this stage of life. It can feel like aging happens overnight, but the truth is, hormones play a role here too. Most attribute it to arthritis, but estrogen reduces inflammation and protects cartilage, as levels drop the joints can feel stiff and more sensitive.
8. Skin and Hair Change
Does it feel like your chin hairs have gone on overdrive? It’s not your imagination! Dry skin, thinning hair, age spots, and yes… those sneaky chin hairs, these changes are completely normal, but that doesn’t make them any less frustrating. Menopause doesn’t just affect what’s happening inside, it shows on the outside too.
9. Sex Feels Different
Menopause can bring changes in how sex feels physically and emotionally. For some women, intimacy becomes more comfortable and freeing without worries about pregnancy. For others, new challenges like dryness, discomfort, or a drop in desire can cause uncomfortable intercourse. Whatever your experience, you’re not alone and it doesn’t mean your sex life has to end. The good news? There are options from lubricants to medical treatments, make sure to talk to your doctor about this there is treatment. When I was asked about vaginal dryness I said no, not realizing that was the exact problem I was having! Communication with your provider is key.
10. Bladder Health
Something that doesn’t get talked about enough during menopause is how it can affect bladder health. Women notice more frequent bathroom trips, sudden urgency, or even small leaks when coughing, laughing, or exercising. It can feel frustrating and sometimes embarrassing but these changes are extremely common and very treatable. When estrogen gets low the lining of the bladder and urethra thin, making them more sensitive and less elastic. I thought I was done with pads after my hysterectomy, but NO mother nature gets the last laugh!
Final Thoughts
Menopause weaves its way through every part of life from confidence to identity, but the truth is, you don’t have to walk this path alone. Millions of women are experiencing the same changes, and when we share our stories, the weight feels lighter. We all know about the hot flashes and mood swings, but there are so many other symptoms no one talks about, the ones we only stumble upon by chance, often during an appointment when we’re convinced, we’re falling apart or going insane. For too long, menopause has been whispered about in the shadows, when it deserves open and honest conversation. Yes, it brings challenges with the heat, the sleepless nights, the shifting moods but it also opens the door to wisdom, resilience, and self-compassion. If you’re in the middle of this transition, remember you’re not broken, you’re not alone, and you’re stronger than you realize.
🌸 Here’s to thriving, not just surviving, through the change.